I love my partner but … I do not want to live with her!
Cohabitation is not an easy task. Whether with friends, family or partner, joint life in an apartment or house always has some details that bother us and can affect relationships. Of all these, perhaps the most significant is the domestic partnership, not because it is more important than living with a friend, but because socially represents a breakthrough in their personal lives.
Thus, there is the idea that when a couple takes a certain amount of time together, the next step is: get married or live together. But in this equation comes a new factor: the fact that not all people want to live as a couple, preferring to reserve their space until the time of marriage, or rupture if things are not going well. In fact, a survey conducted in the UK revealed that out of a population of 2.2 million people who are in a stable, committed relationship, 23 percent live in separate houses, whether because the circumstances were that way or because it was a joint decision.
How is this? Simple. Often couples decide to move into an apartment together for the wrong reasons, the most frequent being saving money. Large cities have high costs relative to income, and although they vary considerably depending on the area where you are, the reality is that the real estate scenario encourages young people to make these decisions without much reflection or analysis. In addition, living together not only reduces expenses in the income department but also in transportation, taxes, and food.
Aware that coexistence can be a hasty, impulsive, and little-analyzed decision, today couples tend to stay at home each organizing frequent meetings and travel together without the need to share the same space. And this is a trend that is increasing, not only in young courtships but also in couples made up of individuals who have gone through a marriage and go for the second round.
Each individual has little ways of being or acting when you are in the safety of your home, and often such intimate details are not shown when spending time with the couple.
On the other hand, living apart generates anticipation of the possibility of any meeting, going out to dinner, or visiting the park. It allows individuals to wonder and prepare for each event as if it were the first, get ready for your partner and set aside the routine of wearing running pants and a washed face without makeup.
But the strongest and most resonant reason is independence. Couples who decide to live apart until life takes them walking down the aisle do so because they want to preserve their daily independence and have an escape route when things are not going quite right or there was some discussion.
This is most often seen in couples made up of individuals who have come out of a divorce, have been widowed, or already have families, grown children, and even grandchildren perhaps. This demographic group often decides not to mix so many people in the same living space and prefers that everyone has their own space to share with their children or grandchildren.
The truth is that these people already were in love and lived this freedom, happiness, and insouciance that love gives; and experienced marriage, and now they just want to relive the feeling of being free and being in love, without adding complications.
In other cases, one of the two comes from having a long and painful relationship and is not prepared to place one more person in their home or even commit one hundred percent to the relationship. Each person is different, and their life history helps make such decisions.
Do you live or not live? That is the question. Whatever the answer will be correct if both believe that is the way to go, so be it living separately or together and revealing the mysteries of everyday life.
What do you think? Tell us your experience in the comments!
Leave a Reply